


Zim's Happiness

by DreamerLost



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Can be Friendship, Can be more - Freeform, Depends on how you look at it, Gen, Zim thinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23606095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerLost/pseuds/DreamerLost
Summary: What makes me happy?
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Zim's Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Its been a long time since I saw Zim but today I felt like I fell into his mood. What would make him happy? So I like to go off on the idea that when smeets were very small they were raised together till they had more focused training. So maybe this is my head cannon? Let me know if anyone has had this idea before if they did. I'd love to talk!
> 
> I own nothing!

Zim started at the laptop in front of him. He had gotten it from the local store and made a point to not connect it to the house’s computer. He didn’t need it for the internet or anything like that. 

What he wanted was the word program.

He wanted to be able to write his thoughts without someone being able to see. If he got a notebook it could be lost and if he connected it to the mainframe then the tallest could see it. 

No.

He wanted to be able to write his own thoughts without an audience. It had stated so innocently but doesn’t it always? The teacher had told the class to write a paper on what they wanted for the future. Zim had of course take it with great relish and written out his goal to rule the world! Only the teacher had returned it and in a rare show of brains had asked if that would make him happy.

Zim had stared without a word.

Make him happy?

Zim had gone back to the house, made GIR leave, and sat staring at the TV. What made Zim happy? For the life of him he couldn’t say. He thought about his mission, the Tallest, hell even his home planet and he was blank. For as long as he could remember he had his mission. He was to invade planets and bring glory to Irk. But in truth that didn’t bring him any true joy. Oh he loved a plan coming together and he loved outsmarting others but that wasn’t true happiness.  
How long had it been since he had really been happy, he wondered? He scoffed and thought that it was back when he was just Smeet. When he willing went to all his interesting classes and played with his PAK. He smirked as he remembered playing games like who could run the fastest or who could stick better with the PAK. Life was easy and happy then.

But, he thought as the smirk fell, all good things must end. 

So they were split into individual classes where they were taught how to survive no matter what, how to rule no matter what, taught to CONQUER!

No matter what.

Friends were lost and the mission became their life.

He knew he was seen as defective by his people. He was aware that the Tallest didn’t respect him, let alone like him. He knew that all. But.

But.

And wasn’t that an answer all by itself?

All his life he just wanted to be like the others. He wanted to be a good invader. He wanted to go home with a feeling of accomplishment. He wanted to be able to feel proud of the Irken he had become.

But that wasn’t him. 

He had tried. By IRK! Did he try! He did what he was told to do. He never questioned the Tallest. He made plan after plan. He was a picture-perfect invader.

At least until he failed.

No matter how he worked it out he failed, and it made it harder to lift his head. The worst is he knew that he completed this mission. If he actually won then this life would be destroyed. 

And he didn’t want earth to be destroyed.

In truth this ball of dirt could be fun. The strange holidays, the dumb but oh so entertaining people, even Dib-thing made his life more then it was. Everyday was a routine and rules to follow but on this hunk of waste he made the rules. He got to do whatever he wanted at whatever times he wanted. This much freedom was a bit scary, but he lived for it!

But to embrace this planet would mean to give up Irk.

To give up everything that made Zim who he was.

He stared at the laptop and started to type.

I want to be happy.

He stared at that sentence and sighed.

In the end that was all Zim wanted. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to go back to the days when he had friends and happiness. But that could never be so now he had to decide what to do about being happy. He stared at the house that was given to him, not as a help but as a prison. He closed his eyes and remembered the Tallest from before they were the Tallest. When they were smeets like him who loved to play and eat. When him and Purple would eat strange things, they had found to see what would happen. When him and Red play with there PAKs to see who could be sneakier and play a prank on the caregiver. When he was given this second chance, he saw it as a way to regain the trust between him and his once dear friends. He had realized soon after that it was just a way to get him away from them but had pretended that it was different. 

Because he was still a child.

He was still a small child who didn’t want to lose his friends.

He opened his eyes and closed the laptop.

Without much thought he left the house and walked. Where he was going he didn’t have a clue to be honest. He just had the idea of being happy running through his mind. Happiness. How did one get happy he wondered as he kicked a can into a nearby trashcan. He smirked lightly as he saw it went in without touching the sides. He would normally be screaming that had proved the amazingness of Zim but he just didn’t feel like it.

“And five points to the alien” came the lazy sentence from Zim’s right. He turned only to see Dib Membrane leaning against a nearby wall. Zim just looked at him before continuing on his walk only for Dib to walk up next to him. “So where we going?” asked Dib as he grabbed a soda from his pocket. Zim just shrugged as he kept walking. He could hear the can pop open and the chugs Dib was taking as they walked. For some reason it made Zim think of the passage of time.

When he first came to this planet Dib wouldn’t be able to carry that can. His pockets were to small and he needed all the room for his new alien catching doohickey so he would sacrifice the soda. Then he would grow even more manic then he normally was because he wouldn’t have his sugar. Now it had been 5 years since he had come, and Dib Membrane could now carry a can of soda around. Well isn’t that interesting? He thought with a little smirk.

Soon they were out of the city and walking through the woods. So many years with so many failed plans. He could tell you exactly where every burn mark and strange mark to the ground came from in this part of the woods. Where the tree to his right was burned was GIR getting way to hot while he was coming back into the atmosphere. The crater to his left was exactly 5 feet deep because it was made by his Voot. So many memories made in just this part of the woods. 

Soon they came to a cliff that seemed to flout of the rest of the forest. He sat down with Dib at his side without a word. He stared at the world right in front of him. Even with the memories the thought of happiness was still flying through his head. After some time, he opened his laptop to show Dib his thought. After all, if there was someone who would understand him and his crazy then it was Dib. 

He chose to not look into that thought to much and simply accepted that it was because he was Dib.

He heard the hum Dib replied with and then silence. He didn’t feel worried or anxious to tell the truth. He figured that he would feel something if he revealed this thought to the world. But he was still in that calm unfeelingness. 

Soon Dib started talking. “Happiness is a state, not a trait; in other words, it isn’t a long-lasting, permanent feature or personality trait, but a more fleeting, changeable state. Or so says the dictionary anyway.”

Zim looked over to see Dib reading his phone with a raised eyebrow. He watched as Dib started to lightly hit his other hand with his hand as he thought through this new problem. Zim lifted a leg so his head could lean against his knee. A few years ago they would be trying to push each other off this cliff. A few years ago he would be screaming that he was the greatest while Dib would be yelling about alien scum. 

Now they had calmed down. 

Oh sure they still fought. They still screamed and tried to take each other out. That was their normal in the end. But somedays they sat next to each other without a word. Somedays they could go to each other and just be. After all they understood the other best. The outcasts of the worlds who just couldn’t understand. 

He mussed at all the times they were could just be while Dib thought about what could be Zim’s happiness. Dib turned and looked at Zim and asked hid burning question “What are you willing to trade for your happiness, Zim?” 

Zim closed his eyes and thought back. His once friends. His home planet that sometimes he missed with all he was. The house that wasn’t really home. Then he opened his eyes and looked at Dib. And he was surprised at his answer. Or maybe he wasn’t.

Maybe that was what was really surprising.

“Everything that once mattered”


End file.
